You know the drill. The first day you get home you’re welcomed with a hug and a cup of tea. The next morning you get a nice big breakfast and get to choose what to watch on the tele. Then somehow, somewhere along the line, something changes and you revert back to being your 14 year old self, screaming about how “no one understands you” and complaining about having to stack the dishwasher. Whether you’re home for a while or just a short weekend break, here’s how to navigate your return to the family.
Alright, this sounds a little silly, and no one should need a how-to guide to simply sitting at home alone, waiting for their housemates to get back, right? Wrong. The last time I was home alone my housemate came back to find me stood directly in front of the TV after literally just walking around my flat for hours, doing nothing. It was 10pm and I hadn’t even managed to make my dinner yet because I’d been aimlessly circling my flat. Why? Maybe it’s because I’m actually super needy, maybe it’s the hyperactivity-inducing spare time with no one to vent my deepest, most ridiculous thoughts to… who knows? Either way, here’s how to make better use of your empty flat/house when you’re needy af.
So, here’s my usual bed time routine: Get in bed, shut eyes, convince myself someone is hiding in my wardrobe, check wardrobe, get back in bed, sweat, open window, shiver, close window, practice conversation that will never happen in my head, think of a business idea, check clock, say a few expletives, shut eyes, convince myself someone is going to break in and kidnap me, create a plan of action for such an event, check clock, say more expletives whilst worrying about how few hours sleep I’m going to get, check Instagram, Tweet about not being able to sleep, shut eyes, worry about something silly, eventually fall asleep. Sound familiar? Well I tried the internet’s insomnia hero, the Lush Sleepy Lotion, to see if it could help.
Sorry to disappoint but this isn’t anecdotes about myself approaching people I fancy in clubs- although that would definitely make a highly cringe-worthy and self-deprecating post that would entertain you for hours. But no, this is a post based on experiences as a female in a nightclub on a Saturday night, just wanting to get dolled up and go out dancing. Continue reading “How To Survive Approaching People You Fancy in Nightclubs. (A What Not To Do Guide consisting of Anecdotes from One of Many Hideous Encounters.)”
I’ve been on work experience before, but that was mostly at hairdressers or restaurants under the obligation of school courses or CV enhancement. In that case, you can imagine how nervous I was when I landed some work experience at Boohoo HQ! I’d never had work experience doing anything I was genuinely passionate and cared about before, so I really wanted to impress here. However it turned out that even I managed to get along just fine, despite my (often wildly mistaken) preconceptions and fears about working at such a huge fashion brand.
One day I was trying on my favourite bikini to check it still fit for my holiday. It did. Like a glove. To be honest, I thought I looked great. I’d been working really hard in the gym and actually remembering to feed myself at regular intervals throughout the day (instead of you know, eating nothing all day then eating my entire house and the complete cast of Newsies when it got to 8pm). So yeah, overall I was feeling pretty hot. And then I saw them. These long white stripes across my bum cheeks. I have stretch marks. Continue reading “How To Survive Feeling Like a 2/10 (When Everyone Else Seems like a 12/10)”
The lovely Kindly Katie (click to see her blog!) had some great ideas for those of us who’ve come home from university, travelling or anywhere else and are back living with our parents. Although the free food in the fridge and household heating might be a luxury at first, sometimes the novelty wears off of being back home, but Katie’s gathered a few ideas about how to cope with this: