How to Survive When You’re Rubbish at Make Up.

The meme is correct; I spend more time stalking hot girls on Instagram than hot guys. Honestly, I could spend all day scrolling through the Kardashian/Jenners, various beauty bloggers’ and a few random Instagram models’ accounts, like “How?!” Seriously though, some of those girls look like the Angel Gabriel himself chiselled their cheekbones for them. To be fair, most of them are naturally blessed, but still, there has to be some sort of miracle technique going on somewhere.

I’m terrible at make-up. I’m getting better, but I find the tutorials too intimidating, don’t actually own half the products they insist on using, nor do I have the time to sit at home practising. No matter how long I spend blending and piling on the products, I somehow always manage to look like my usual, bare-faced self, with some sort of smudged eye, and wonky, stained lips. Bare-faced is fine, but when everyone else is dolled up to the nines, looking like they’ve had Charlotte Tilbury herself pandering to them for three hours prior to pre-drinks, it’s a little disheartening.

I swear, I spend 90% of my “getting ready time” just poking myself in the eye with random brushes coated in some sort of bronze dust, or doing some wobbly winged eyeliner that legitimately looks like I let my pet dog have a try. So, I had a little look around, had a Google and scroll through Pinterest and came to a few conclusions.

Firstly, a few good products is better than loads of crappy ones. That sounds obvious, but when I think about how many rubbish foundations I’ve bought out of trial and error, that I’d end up mixing and blending myself into a tangerine with, I might as well have just gone to a make-up counter, had them colour match me and splash a little bit extra on something that’s not going to sink into my pores and make me look like a block of flaky Swiss cheese.

I’ve also come to realise that picking one or two features to enhance is better than just piling on a load of products onto every part of my face. For example, when I’m hungover/tired (usually both), grooming my eyebrows always seems to lift my face more, and look better than just layering mismatched concealer under my eyes and trying to work last night’s eyeliner into a smoky-eye. (Okay, sometimes I still do that if I’m running late to my lectures…)

Now, I know I said tutorials are intimidating, but that’s not true for all of them. Cue, Lisa Potter-Dixon. Her YouTube tutorials are the only reason I have any sense of direction in my make-up bag now. Charli and I once sat in my room and spent ages copying her eye-make up tutorials and went out in matching make-up. We were the coolest kids in Manchester that night.

The result of the Lisa Potter-Dixon binge.

But seriously, her tutorials are so easy to follow, use mostly Benefit make-up products which are easy to find, and you can even pick a look whilst getting ready for your night out, a glass of wine down, and still be able to follow it (mostly, anyway) a la Jenna Marbles’ drunk make-up tutorial, but nicer. Lisa also has an excellent How To Hide Your Hangover tutorial, which is pretty much an essential.


Finally, I forget where I read it, but in an interview with a French model (who’s name escapes me. I’m going to get better at this research stuff I promise) she said something along the lines of French women concentrate on making their hair naturally great, skin naturally great and a good fashion sense, so they can just get up and go and everything else falls into place. I liked this advice the most. That, and, if you messed up your eyeshadow, just add another layer and make it a smoky-eye. Smoky-eye solves everything.

Speak soon,

Laura x


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