Good afternoon, evening, morning or whatever.
I’m Laura and one day I woke up and thought “Hm, I wonder if this stuff happens to anyone else…”
By “This stuff” I mean all the weird things that happen to me and my friends on a daily basis that, somehow, we don’t really realise are bizarre until we tell the stories to new people and they give us the wide-eyed, square-mouthed grinning nod, whilst muttering something about “going somewhere” to “do a thing” and making a swift exit.
I kind of wonder whether it’s something about me that just attracts these sorts of happenings. Maybe I’m frequented by odd occurrences because I was a horrible person in a past life, or I just have one of those faces that screams “I deal with weird people, copious amounts of alcohol and conversations with strangers on public transport really well.” (Clue: I don’t.)
However, as much as I would love to live a perfectly quiet life, with no drunken mishaps, minimal human contact and a daily dose of Starbucks, I am grateful for whatever it is that makes me incapable of doing so. Why? Life lessons my friends.
Sure, school is great (a burning hell hole full of hormones and cheap make up covering acne), but there’s some things it just can’t teach you. And that’s where I come in- you lucky things. I figured that, I can’t be the only person who you really just can’t take anywhere without causing a scene or unintentionally making everyone uncomfortable (right?… Right?!) so maybe I should make something of it.
Here is your survival guide, for all those little things that you swear don’t happen to normal people. I hope you enjoy it, and that it brings some comfort to some of you, and maybe weirds out a few others.